Pastor, everyone in your church is one personal ask away. Here’s how I make the ask.

A great friend of mine built a dozen wireless stores from nothing — a genuinely gifted entrepreneur, making millions, and carrying a God-shaped gap he couldn’t name. He started showing up at church and sitting in the back row. For months, that was the whole story. Then somebody walked up and invited him to a small group. Later, somebody asked him to join a team. Eventually somebody asked him about giving. Today he’s the executive pastor of a church of over 4,000 and trains executive pastors around the country. He was close to dipping out entirely. Every single step happened because a person made a personal ask.

Step 1 — Own that the ball is always in your court

The biggest mindset shift in ministry: stop waiting for people to engage, and stop calling a broadcast an invitation. Emails, announcements, even a sermon series — good things, all of them, and none of them move people the way one personal ask does. Look at Jesus: “Come, follow me.” He told Zacchaeus — by name, in a tree — “I’m coming to your house today.” Paul made the ask standing in chains in front of Agrippa. Ministry without asks isn’t really ministry.

And you’re not asking for you or your ego. When they serve, they’re fulfilled. When they’re in a group, they’re discipled. When they give, they’re blessed. You’re asking for their sake.

Step 2 — Match the ask to the level

Vague asks do nothing. “You should serve sometime” has never moved a human being. The ask has to fit where the person actually is:

• Not attending anymore? “I haven’t seen you in a while and I was thinking about you. Come sit with me this Sunday — lunch after, on me.”
• Attending, nothing else? Invite them to the growth track or membership class — your built-in on-ramp.
• Not in a group? Give them three specific groups that fit their stage of life and side of town. Options, not homework.
• Not serving? Send a spiritual gifts test, then connect the result to a real team.
• Not giving? Have the unhurried conversation. Sometimes the next step isn’t a gift — it’s their first budget. That’s discipleship too.

Step 3 — Walk into every meeting already knowing

Before coffee with Steve, I want thirty seconds of context: he just joined a group, he’s not on a team, his wife serves occasionally but has no community of her own. Now I have three warm, specific asks for one cup of coffee — and none of them are guesses. That prep used to take a staff meeting. Inside Engage, it’s one question to Barnabas: “I’m meeting with Steve — tell me about him and his family.”

Step 4 — Become your church’s number-one evangelist

Maybe asking isn’t your personality. Maybe you’re bookish and you’d rather study while others build teams. I understand — but Scripture doesn’t give us that out. Do the work of an evangelist. You are the number-one evangelist for your groups, your teams, your generosity culture. When the leader owns the ask, the whole staff follows.

Everyone in your church is one, two, maybe three personal asks away from fully engaging. You have not because you ask not. So ask — today, by name, for their sake.