Pastor, “people should just know what I mean” is hurting your team. Clarity is your job.

Picture two pastors who each hand a project to a staff member, and both get back something that misses the mark. The first fumes: “I told him what to do and he did it wrong. He just doesn’t get it.” The second looks in the mirror: “Did I actually say what I meant?” Same situation. Different belief. Different future. One builds a team that grows into his vision. The other keeps replacing people. The first pastor is living the old story: “People should just know what I mean.” Here’s how to trade it for a better one.

The old story: “People should just know what I mean”

It sounds like this: “I just told him to do that, and he didn’t get it. I gave her that project, and she did it wrong. Should I fire them and find somebody else?”

This is the sequel to giving ministry away. You can delegate everything and still fail, because delegation without clarity isn’t enough. Part of giving ministry away is giving clarity: “When I said this, what I meant was this.” The old story assumes that what’s obvious inside your head is obvious to everyone else. It isn’t. Nobody sees inside your brain.

What it costs

“They know what I mean” breeds missed expectations. Missed expectations breed hurt. And hurt, left alone, breeds bitterness, on both sides of the desk. Your staff feels set up to fail, you feel let down, and the work never quite comes together. Good people leave thinking they weren’t good enough, when what they were missing was a clear picture.

Breaking the old story

When people aren’t producing the results you’re hoping for, don’t look through the window and scold them. Look in the mirror first. Own it. Ask yourself:

• Did I clearly say what I meant?
• Did I show them what I meant, not just tell them?
• Do they feel free to come back and ask me what I meant?

Here’s a way to think about it. The best hires eventually start predicting things. You tell them A, and they understand you want A, and B, and C too. Those people are amazing, because they’ve gone from hearing your words to understanding your heart. But almost nobody starts there. Most people start with only A. Getting to B and C takes time, feedback and a lot of clarity from you. And when you find the quick learners, keep them.

Every person has to be led a little differently. Some need more hand-holding than others. So when the result is off, ask how this person learns best. Do they need a photo of what you want? A mockup or an image? A schematic? A conversation? The goal over time is less hand-holding and more prediction, but you only get there by being more on top of clarity in those early days, early months and early years together.

And give them a script that leaves no guesswork: “I’d love for you to own this. This is what I mean. These are the goals. These are my expectations. I’m empowering you.” Then follow it up with check-ins, because people want to know, “Did I do it right?” Don’t make them guess about that either.

The new belief: Clarity is my responsibility

Delegation is my responsibility, and clarity is my responsibility. If I’m not providing clarity, I can’t blame the people I delegate to. I need to ask, “Can I delegate better? Can I communicate better?”

Do that consistently and you’ll start to see patterns. People will get your system. They’ll understand your heart. And one day, when you say something, they really will know exactly what you mean, because you took the time to show them.

What to do this week

1. Say it plainly. On your next handoff, use the script: “This is what I mean. These are the goals. These are my expectations.” Out loud, and ideally in writing.
2. Put check-ins on the calendar. Schedule them at the handoff, so people know when they’ll find out whether they did it right.
3. Write the job descriptions. Make sure every team, every role and every person has a job description. If it isn’t written down, it isn’t clear.

Your team can’t read your mind, and they shouldn’t have to. Nobody sees inside your brain. Clarity is your job, not theirs.