Pastor, “I’m not as good as they are” is stealing your joy. The scoreboard is against hell.

Two pastors scroll past the same post on a Sunday afternoon: another church celebrating more baptisms, more salvations, and a stage they’d love to have. The first one’s joy drains out of him: “I’m not as good as they are.” The second one says, “Heaven just got fuller. Thank You, God,” and goes back to being grateful for his own people. Same scroll. Different belief. Different future. I’ve been the first pastor. Here’s what comparison cost me, and the scoreboard that changed how I see it.

The old story: “I’m not as good as they are”

“I’m not as good as that church down the road.” “He’s doing so much better than me.” Comparison shows up on your phone, at pastors’ gatherings, in your own head on Sunday night.

When I was a church planter, we had an amazing Sunday. One of our highest attended days. We baptized a lot of people, and a lot of people gave their lives to Christ. It was one of the greatest Sundays of our young church. I took the team to Raising Cane’s afterward and we celebrated wins all around the table, things we’d been praying for that were finally happening. I was overwhelmed with gratitude.

Then I went home and took one of the hardest naps ever, because there’s nothing like a Sunday afternoon nap. I woke up, opened Instagram, and saw a buddy’s church in a nearby town. More attendance. More baptisms. More salvations. And a really cool LED wall I didn’t have.

“Oh man. We stink. We’ve got to get better.” All the joy and gratitude I’d had a few hours earlier zipped away, because I decided to compare myself to my friend down the road.

What it costs

Comparison steals your joy, and gratitude goes with it. When you lose gratitude, your spirit sours. Then your team’s spirit sours. You start cursing your team instead of being grateful for them, cursing your building instead of being grateful for it.

I’m very much a carrot-and-stick person. I have unrelenting expectations. But if you only ever get the stick and never the carrot, you’ll be really discouraged in life, and so will the people you lead.

Breaking the old story

There is a fair test here. If you’re burying your talent, you should feel it. But if you’re multiplying what God put in your hand, you’re looking at the wrong scoreboard.

Early on, I was a college pastor. I started sizing up the other college ministries on campus, how many came to this group and that group, and thinking how awesome it would be if mine were the biggest. And God really corrected me: your scoreboard isn’t against these other groups. The scoreboard is against hell. We want heaven full and hell empty.

That changed everything. I’m not competing against my brothers in Christ. I’m competing against hell, and I want to win. When that church wins, we’re all winning. You can’t take anything with you. The only thing coming with you is people.

And honestly, you wouldn’t want their shoes. They have different pressures, different budgets, different problems. The only valid comparison is you today against you last week and you last year.

The new belief: the scoreboard is against hell

You cannot be insecure, anxious, or angry if you’re filled with gratitude. Gratitude isn’t the opposite of ambition. It’s fuel for it. A small church with gratitude has momentum. That’s the it factor some of you are missing. And plenty of big churches without gratitude still feel like it’s never good enough. Celebrate the small wins on the way to the bigger ones, and let thankfulness permeate the whole team.

What to do this week

1. Take a gratitude inventory, out loud. Your breath. Your health, as imperfect as it is. Your spouse and kids. Your team. Your church. The growth, the volunteers, the salvations.
2. Change your comparison. Compare yourself only to you last week and you last year.
3. Run the talent test. If you’re burying your talent, admit it and start multiplying. If you’re multiplying, stop watching their scoreboard.

Don’t look to the left or the right. God asked you to multiply what He put in your hand, not to be Him, and not to be the guy down the road. Celebrate. Be thankful. Do what God has called you to do. Same situation. Different belief. Different future.