Pastor, here’s how to answer “I don’t trust pastors.”

I hear this one in the comment section all the time: “I don’t trust pastors.” Or its cousin, “Pastors aren’t worthy of being trusted.” If you preach, you’ve probably felt it inside your own congregation too, that strange level of suspicion from people you’ve done nothing but serve. It’s a sermon of the serpent. Here’s where it comes from, and how a pastor should answer it.

What disunity is

Disunity, or divisiveness, is personal distrust of spiritual authority that turns into action. It starts as suspicion. Then it becomes gossip, coalitions, slander, and subversion, and the sheep get divided from their shepherd.

Low trust in the church as an institution is one thing. This is low trust in pastors personally, and it doesn’t stay private.

The serpent’s question

Scripture tells God’s people to trust and honor their leaders, “because they keep watch over you” (Hebrews 13:17). The serpent’s hiss is “Did God really say to honor those who lead you?” His goal is a wedge between sheep and shepherd, between people and the place of worship. He’s always trying to keep people from gathering together (Hebrews 10:25).

Step 1 — Understand the scandal economy

Oh, to be a pastor fifty years ago, when people trusted our role. What changed? Think about the local newspaper. Remember the thick Sunday paper, with every local business advertising in it? Scandal used to be local. A problem in a small town stayed a small-town story.

Now the advertising money has gone to Silicon Valley, and our news is Facebook, X, and Instagram. News is national, global, and constant. Even situations handled in a good, godly way by good board members and good pastors become national stories, and the most scandalous thing gets the most clicks. As Josh Howerton puts it, you never hear about the planes that land, just the ones that crash. The vast majority of pastors finish well, love well, and do well. But the failure stories get projected onto pastors with integrity.

Step 2 — Recognize projection

There’s a second force: projection. Many times people treat you terribly and it has nothing to do with who you are or what you’ve done. They had a bad experience with an authority figure, a parent, a coach, a boss, or they read something, and they project it onto you. It’s unfair and untrue, and sometimes the sheep bite the shepherd. Every pastor I know names this pain point.

People will say the most outlandish things in the lobby. Don’t let it make you bitter. Even if they don’t trust you, be trustworthy. Over-communicate integrity: finances, decisions, and process in the open. Be full of grace and truth (John 1:14), and give no one a real reason to distrust you.

And point beyond yourself. I’ll tell people, “I’m imperfect. I’m submitting my heart to the Lord Jesus Christ, and I’d ask you to do the same. I’m delegated authority here to bring you the word of God and pastor this church. I’d love for you to trust me, and I want you to trust Jesus.”

Step 3 — Have the hard conversation early

The problem is that it rarely stops at “I don’t trust you.” It devolves into gossip, divisiveness, and disunity. When it does, you have to go into it. These are some of the worst conversations in ministry, because you’re talking to someone projecting things that aren’t real. But you have to say it plainly: “That’s not true. Here’s the truth. What have I done to make you think so low of me? Here’s what I see for your life, and here’s how we can support you.”

Step 4 — Be a strong pastor, not a weak one

Some people aren’t just repeating the serpent. They’re actively trying to create division in the church. That is a case for discipline. Scripture is clear that God hates “a person who stirs up conflict in the community” (Proverbs 6:19), and Paul tells Titus to warn a divisive person once, then a second time, and after that have nothing to do with them (Titus 3:10).

So you say it: “You are slandering. You are lying. You are bringing disunity. God hates it, and you need to repent. If you can’t, we’ll have to disfellowship you.” Know your discipline process before you need it. When you handle these moments in a trustworthy way, everyone else learns something too: this thing can’t be broken by whoever has the wildest idea.

You can’t control everything people project onto you. You can control who you are. Even if they don’t trust you, be trustworthy. And when distrust becomes division, be a strong pastor, not a weak one.